Notice me.
Attunement and relational perception
You notice more, when you watch me, the painting.
No two viewings are ever the same, the sun hits the frame at different times of the day, the warmth of the bench changes how you perceive the art. You begin to see the lazy brush strokes, where the paint dripped, the feeling of the wrist at that angle, the sound of the artists voice while they hummed music, micro frustrations and bits they tried to hide. And over time, the painting becomes this whole but fractured piece of the human condition. You can feel the difference between what the artist wanted you to see and who they are, and maybe all the messiness in between.
You begin to discern with which stroke they breathed in and where they breathed out, you and the fumes inside their lungs and back out again. And you come to know where the art is performing, and where it is soul. To understand where there is separation from the real self, where the heavier bits are; water and oil.
The conversations start, you and this person. When you took control here, why in that moment did you feel so powerless? This square felt urgent, what would I have found if you’d slowed down? To see someone is to enter in a dialogue where there are no answers, just the raw urge of wanting to know and in return, being known. And the messiness of perceiving or being perceived in a way that is not affirming - the thousand tiny errors that this artist endured along the way.
Through the revealing of art, the artist risks misunderstanding of self. For this painting to be hung; there is a consensual acceptance of such. The willingness, the bravery.
What about this part of yourself felt important enough for you to show it?
The self-exposure in art becomes exposure in you. You reconcile with where this lands internally, and while you learn about the artist, you learn about yourself. The kind of colours and shapes that make you feel euphoric, the kind of physiological sensations that make you squirm. Maybe you stay a while longer, maybe you check your phone instead.
Perception might be interpretative, but when it brightens colours and reveals brush strokes for the observer, it does for the artist too. Some of that the artist prepares for, the rest is just raw exposure and a willingness to tolerate that.
Everyone and everything is changed when truly noticed,
even if it is not always easy to know how.
All my love, C x
I find this feeling is the battle between wanting to be seen for who you are and not wanting to be seen with my own creative outputs.